What your group chat knows about the kids in it

In short: Group chats were built for adults keeping in touch, not for groups with children in them. Without anyone meaning harm, they can put kids’ phone numbers, photos and whereabouts in front of people who don’t need them, and leave adults and kids messaging where no parent can see. The organizations that work with kids for a living already agree on what good looks like. Here’s what they say, and a checklist you can use with whatever tools your group has.

Saturday was a great day. The team won, or the troop finally made it up the ridge, or the choir nailed the spring concert, and by evening the group chat is full of photos. Forty of them, with captions like “Look at Maya go!” and “Jonah’s first goal!” Somebody posts the time and place for next week’s practice. Somebody else asks the two oldest kids, who are in the chat themselves, whether they can come early to help set up.

Nobody did anything wrong. This is exactly what group chats are for. But it’s worth taking a minute to look at that thread the way a stranger would.

Who’s actually in the thread

Group chats grow, and they almost never shrink. Count the people in yours: this season’s families, plus last season’s, plus the grandparent someone added for the photos, the assistant coach who moved away, and the number nobody recognizes because a family changed phones. Everyone in it sees everything posted, past and future, and can save, forward or screenshot any of it.

Now look at what the thread holds:

• Kids’ names next to their faces. A photo, a first and last name, a team and a school on a jersey: together, that’s a lot about a child, saved on dozens of phones you’ll never see.
• Where the kids will be. “Every Tuesday at 6, the field behind the elementary school” is exactly what families need, and exactly what everyone else in the thread now knows too.
• Kids’ phone numbers. When an older child joins the chat, their number shows to every adult in it, and any of those adults can message them privately, in a conversation no parent can see.
• Where it all goes. Many free apps are paid for by advertising. Few people ever read what their app does with the names, photos and messages posted in it.

None of this means anyone in your group is a danger. It means the chat was never designed to keep children’s information with the people who need it.

What youth-safety rules already say

Organizations that work with kids have thought hard about this, and their rules agree to a striking degree.

No private channel between an adult and a child. The U.S. Center for SafeSport’s Minor Athlete Abuse Prevention Policies, required of the national governing bodies of Olympic and Paralympic sports and the clubs affiliated with them, require any one-on-one electronic communication between an adult and a minor athlete to be “Open and Transparent”, with narrow exceptions: the adult includes the athlete’s parent or guardian, another adult family member, or another adult from the program on every message. They add: “Only platforms that allow for Open and Transparent communication may be used to communicate with Minor Athletes.” Scouting’s youth protection rules say the same thing in fewer words: “Leaders must copy a parent and/or another leader in digital and online communication”, so that no one-on-one contact happens by text, on social media or anywhere else online.

Share the minimum. Girl Scouts’ Safety Activity Checkpoints tell volunteers putting a group online to use only first names, never to post members’ addresses, phone numbers or email addresses, and not to post where and when the group meets, sending those details by email or on a password-protected site instead.

Parents decide about photos. The same checkpoints ask for written permission from a girl’s parent or guardian before she appears in a photo or video online.

Your group may not be bound by any of these rules. But they’re a clear picture of what careful looks like, written by people who think about kids’ safety for a living.

What the law expects from your apps

The federal children’s privacy law, COPPA, is written for the companies that run apps and websites, not for the volunteers who use them. It covers services aimed at children under 13, and services that know they’re collecting information from them. Under the rule as amended in 2025, a child’s personal information includes a photo, video or audio recording with the child’s image or voice, and a location precise enough to name their street and town.

Keeping to that law is the app company’s job, not yours. What it gives you is a fair test for any tool you put kids’ information into: does it know when it’s holding a child’s information, does it ask a parent before collecting it, and does it collect no more than it needs?

A checklist for any group with kids

You can do all of this with the tools you have now:

1. Clean out the list every season. Remove last season’s families and anyone who doesn’t need to be there, and ask people to tell you when they change numbers.
2. Keep kids out of the adults’ chat. If older kids need the details, give them a channel where a parent or a second leader is always included.
3. Never message a child one-on-one. Copy a parent or another leader every time, and ask every adult in your group to do the same. It protects the adults too: nobody ever has to wonder what was said.
4. Ask before you post photos. Get parents’ permission at the start of the season, use first names only, and share photos somewhere private rather than the main chat.
5. Keep addresses and standing schedules for members only. Share where and when the group meets in a place only your families can see, never in a public post.
6. Know what your tools do with your information. Do they show ads? Sell or share what they collect? Train AI on what’s posted? Who can see members’ phone numbers and email addresses? If you can’t find the answers, that’s an answer. Here’s how to check a tool in about five minutes.
7. Make it someone’s job. One adult who keeps an eye on the list, the photos and the rules, and whom parents can come to with a worry.

Why we built Grouperly the way we did

We started from a simple fact: most groups have kids in them. So the rules above aren’t settings you have to go looking for in Grouperly. They’re how it works.

• A parent is always included. Every message between an adult and a young member includes the young member’s parent, in the conversation or by an emailed copy. If we can’t include a parent, the message isn’t sent.
• Kids’ details stay with the people who need them. Other members of the group see a child’s name and what the child shares, never their birthdate, address or the notes leaders keep. Nothing a child posts is ever public.
• Private by default. Your group’s messages, photos and calendar are private to your group. Adults’ contact details are shown to other members only if your group allows it, and roles decide who can see everyone’s details.
• Kids under 13 don’t sign up on their own. Parents and leaders look after their information, and on Grouperly Plus a child can have their own login once a parent consents.
• Teens can message only people in their own groups, and a parent is included in any message between a teen and an adult.
• Anyone can report or block. Leaders review reports and take content down.
• No ads, and no selling. We don’t show ads to anyone, sell your information, or let AI models train on it.

Our Children’s Privacy Notice sets out exactly who can see what, and our Privacy Policy covers teens.

Making the safe way the easy way

None of this is about suspecting the people in your group. The coach who texts a player about the bus and the parent who posts forty photos are trying to help. The goal is a setup where the safe way is also the easy way, so that every adult in your group does the right thing without having to think about it.

Sources

• U.S. Center for SafeSport, Minor Athlete Abuse Prevention Policies, “Model Policy: Electronic Communications” (2025 MAAPP, effective January 1, 2025)
• Scouting Wire, “A Culture of Youth Protection: Barriers that Make Sense Inside and Outside of Scouting” (April 2, 2018)
• Girl Scouts of the USA, Safety Activity Checkpoints: Computer and Internet Use (2024–2025)
• Federal Trade Commission, “Children’s Online Privacy Protection Rule”, final rule (Federal Register, April 22, 2025), and Complying with COPPA: Frequently Asked Questions